Cedar
December, 2024
Hello dear ones,
Welcome to the Kin Story of December. During the dark month of December, Felien Durmus and I have been working with the Cedar tree. In this Kin Story, we will be sharing both of our artistic and personal research into this tree of life.
My sharing for December is going to be a very personal one. Over the past couple of years, I have been visiting a Western Red Cedar tree on a daily basis. She is rooted in the park across my house, standing tall with her slightly reddish, chippy bark and her immense green and scaly foliage. She has been a shelter during many sudden rainstorms and bright sunny days, hence the name I have given her: ‘Mama Cedar’.
Besides the practical love that she has provided me through protection from the heavy weather, she is a bridge to many of the places that I have visited that evoke a sense of home in me. The dense forests in Scandinavia, the mountains of Austria and the Pacific Coast of America. The smell of Mama Cedar’s leaves bring me right back into the magnificent nature I was able to experience, places in which Mother Nature still rules - places in which I, as a human, am lovingly forced to listen to her.
Even though I am incredibly grateful for the life I get to live in the Netherlands, I have to admit that I find it hard to root here. I long for the wilderness, for the river and the mountains. The Cedar tree consistently reminds me of this part of myself, she makes sure I do not forget this truth. My gratitude for the Cedar’s presence, in combination with the feelings that she evokes in me, has manifested in a medium that I have been longing to work with for a long time: song.
Hereby, I am excited to share with you a home recording of the song that I have written in the month of December - my ode to the Cedar tree and to the recognition of my own feelings. The process of creating this song has been new and intense. It ripped me open at the seams, became a mirror of my inner world and experiences. My visual work usually taps into a more collective subconscious, but songwriting has been nothing but deeply, deeply personal.
I am beyond grateful for the connection I have built with the Cedar tree. It is one that I will cherish for the rest of my life and in many different geographic places. For now, I leave the tree in the park offers of feathers and tea in the dent (that my sweet four-footed companion Lupe) dug in the earth underneath the foliage. And the Cedar, oh she gives me back more than I could wish for.
Felien Durmus on Cedar
Felien Durmus uses photography as a means to capture the subtle connection between the tangible and the ethereal. Through nature, the human body, portraits or abstract compositions, she works with photography as a medium of research for the spiritual threads that connect us all. Felien shares her ode to the Cedar tree through monochrome photography and the myth of the Mesopotamian goddess Inanna.
Hieros Gamos: The Sacred Marriage
Inanna sang:
— Last night as I, the Queen of Heaven, was shining bright,
As I was shining bright and dancing,
Singing praises at the coming of the night—
He met me—he met me!
My king Dumuzi met me.
At the king's lap stood the rising cedar.
Plants grew high by their side.
Grains grew high by their side.
Gardens flourished luxuriantly.
Inanna, the Mesopotamian goddess of love, desire, war, justice, and fertility, was one of the most revered deities in ancient Sumer (c. 4000 – 3100 BCE). Known as the goddess of Venus and a forerunner to Aphrodite, Inanna embodies the divine feminine trinity of maiden, mother, and crone. Inanna’s story weaves through the rich tapestry of myth, speaking to the cycles of life and transformation.
The marriage between Inanna and Dumuzi can be interpreted as an archetype representing the union of the feminine and masculine within oneself. This reflects Carl Jung's concept of the anima and animus, the unconscious feminine side in men and the unconscious masculine side in women. Inanna's union with Dumuzi serves as a narrative of personal transformation, illustrating her journey from maiden to woman. This myth encompasses the internal process of integrating opposing forces, leading to psychological wholeness.
A prominent symbol in this myth is the cedar tree, long held as a protector in ancient stories. The cedar stands tall in essential moments of Inanna's journey, representing strength, wisdom, and resilience. In some versions of the tale, Inanna consumes parts of the cedar tree to gain deeper knowledge of the union between the feminine and masculine energies. The cedar serves as a gateway to a deeper understanding.
As I reflect on the symbolism of the cedar tree in Inanna's story, I find myself drawn into a personal connection with this ancient symbol. I entered into this connection while exploring the relationship between my own anima and animus – a journey that feels like stepping into unknown territory. For me, my animus is still largely unknown, a quiet and shadowed presence within. Yet, in the act of smudging cedar’s needles, I felt an immediate sense of support and protection. The cedar's essence enveloped me, creating a sanctuary where I could ground myself deeply. In this rooted state, I peered into my inner world. Slowly, light began to filter into the spaces I had not explored yet.
Through this process, I began to understand the delicate balance between these inner forces, much like Inanna’s own journey. The cedar tree became a companion, a silent guide encouraging me to embrace both strength and vulnerability. Inanna’s myth, once distant and ancient, now feels deeply personal – a mirror reflecting my own path toward wholeness. Her story reminds me that growth often requires us to stand still, rooted and present, allowing the layers of our psyche to unfold in their own time. As I continue this exploration, I carry with me the quiet assurance that the cedar tree, will stand as a protector along the way, holding space for transformation and discovery.
